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Kitty's Problem Page
This is for all you kitties who have a problem, if you are having troubles with your owners or if that smelly dog in your house is driving you scatty.
No matter what it is you can tell me.
I will try to be helpful as possible and try my best to solve your worries.
Bear in mind if it has anything to do with your paws..the furniture and a big claw marks I have only one thing to say....... USE THE SCRATCH POST WILL YA!!
| Dear Agony Kitty I hope you can help me with this little problem I have, I am being bullied by the local alley cats. I have to walk down this alley everyday to get to my local hang out. The mutt I live with is more friendly than them lot, please give me some advice. From a rather beaten up kitty |
| Well beaten up Kitty, there is only one thing you can do. Use that dog! Tell the mutt about what happens tell him to walk with you down that alley, hide behind the dustbins and as soon as the alley cats come to pounce on you WHAM! let the dog loose. Boy will they get a shock, next time they will see you they will be shivering in their paws. |
| Dear Agony Kitty I have a problem with my owner, she is always standing on my paws. It hurts like mad, and when I yell out in pain all she can say is "Well you shouldn't stand under my feet!" Have you any solutions? From a sore pawed feline. |
| It isn't very nice when this happens, and when it does it makes you want to swear your kitty head off it hurts so much. There are two things you can do, If you can get a hold of a megaphone and next time your owner stands on you paw whip the megaphone out an yell down it. That should make her jump so high she will be stuck to the ceiling for a week. The other thing is pins tacks (the ones you use on pin boards) give them a taste of their own medicine and lay the pins down on the floor near where she/he stands a lot and sit back and watch them dance round the kitchen holding their foot in pain for a change. |
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Dear Agony Kitty I have a BIG problem an I hope you can help me. It was all going great, I was living in a great house, good food. Had a nice lap to sit on every night and tons of toys..not any more. Ever since this thing has moved into our house I have been feeling left out. This thing leaves smells around the place, makes loud screeches that's enough to burst poor felines ear drums an to top it all off it finds it really funny to wreck my toys. When I see it I have to scram before it grabs on my tail and starts biting it, it's not an nice experience I can tell ya. They call this thing "baby Joe" or if the Grandparents come round it's either cheeky weeky or boooootiful babs. Call me jealous but they never treated me like this...all I want is a nice lap, my toys back (without baby slobber on them) and my tail with no bite marks. From fed up an lonely. |
| I have
had quite a few letters about this, mmm....the only things I can think to
you is either stay low for a while. Go and stay with one of you
alley cat mates till the fuss of "Baby Joe is
over." Or you can go for the revenge tactic,
head straight for Joes toys and slobber and bite all over
them. Get under the feet of the mum an dad..and every chance
you get when they sit down jump on their lap. If they try and stand
up and brush you off dig those claws in.
I hope that's been some help to you. |
| Dear Agony Kitty
I have a little problem, I hope you can help me out. You see I have fallen in love with someone next door, he's good looking, cute and got the nicest house on the block. The only problem is.....he's a dog. Yes he does chase me some times and I know dogs are cats greatest enemy but I still like him a lot. I have told this to my friends but they just laughed at me. Please can you help me. From a love struck Kitty |
| YOUR IN LOVE WITH A DOG??..*Cough* sorry..so, your in love with a dog? The only advice I can give you is one of two, go tell that dog ( some how) how you feel about him and ask if he feels the same way. Please try not to get upset if he doesn't ... after all you are a feline and he's a erm mutt. Or you can try and get out a bit more you know, check out the alleys, the Fish Bars, the Catmandu Club or the Catachewy Milk Bars. As the human saying goes "There's plenty more fish in the pond... or some thing like that anyway. |
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